Christmas is wonderful. Christmas is also, let’s be honest, absolutely sodden with alcohol. Mulled wine at carol services. Champagne on Christmas morning. Drinks parties, work dos. New Year celebrations.

For a few weeks each year, it becomes socially acceptable to have a glass of something in your hand at any hour of the day.

For most couples, this is all part of the fun. But what if one of you doesn’t drink? What if you love a glass of wine and your partner is teetotal?

The festive season can suddenly feel less like a celebration and like an obstacle course of potential resentments and misunderstandings. I know this because I live it.

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I’ve been with my partner for than 15 years. When we first got together, we both enjoyed a drink. Nothing excessive – perhaps a glass of wine with dinner or a few drinks on a night out.

Then he was diagnosed with a serious, progressive liver condition. It’s an autoimmune disease, nothing to do with alcohol, but his consultant was clear: drinking would accelerate the damage and could shorten his life. He stopped that day and hasn’t touched a drop since.

I completely supported his decision. Of course I did. But I was also faced with a question I hadn’t anticipated: What about me? I still wanted to be able to enjoy a drink, but I also wanted to support him.

Over the years, we’ve worked out how to navigate this and Christmas has required some of our most careful negotiation.

The first thing I’d say is that the person who drinks needs to do most of the adapting. That might sound unfair, but your partner has made a difficult decision, possibly for their health, and they’re now facing a world that constantly reminds them of what they’re missing.

The least you can do is make home a place where they feel comfortable and supported.

At Christmas, this means being thoughtful about when and how much you drink in front of them.

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That said, the abstinent partner has a role to play, too. Try not to be preachy or make your partner feel guilty for enjoying a drink – nothing kills the festive mood faster than a martyred sigh over your elderflower cordial. Be clear about what you need, but generous about what you don’t.

I’m not saying drinkers need to become teetotal. But there’s a difference between having a glass of champagne on Christmas Day and being three sheets to the wind by lunchtime while your partner nurses sparkling water.

Talk beforehand about which occasions they’d prefer you to stay sober and which they don’t mind. You may be surprised by their answers.

One thing that has worked for us is finding good alcohol-free drinks. When my partner first stopped drinking, the options were dismal. Now there are genuinely delicious alternatives.

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We always have a few bottles of something special in the house over Christmas. I’d recommend the Fortnum & Mason Sparkling Tea or one of the many excellent alcohol-free wines now available.

When I pour myself a glass of wine, I pour him something too. We’re still drinking together, still sharing that ritual. It’s just that only one glass contains alcohol.

Christmas parties present their own challenges. The truth is, being sober at a party full of drunk people is tedious. I’ve done it on occasion in solidarity with my partner and it’s eye opening.

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The same conversations repeated. The person who corners you to share their conspiracy theories. The colleague who gets tearful about something that happened years ago.

When you’re drinking, you don’t notice. When you’re sober, you notice everything. So if your teetotal partner wants to leave a party early, never resent them for it. Better still, leave with them.

Be especially vigilant about other people. There’s always one who sees a non-drinker as a personal challenge. ‘Go on, it’s Christmas, just one won’t hurt.’ This is infuriating for the person on the receiving end and puts them in an awkward position.

Be an ally. A simple ‘He’s not drinking at the moment’, with a smile and a change of subject, does wonders. It shows your partner you have their back and saves from having to explain themselves for the hundredth time.

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Some of our best Christmases have been the ones where I’ve drunk very little myself. When you’re not focused on the next glass, you notice other things. The food tastes better. The conversation is richer. You remember the afternoon.

I’m not suggesting you give up entirely, but perhaps try matching your partner’s pace. You may find you don’t miss the alcohol as much as you expected.

Finally, remember that your partner has made a brave choice. Whether for health reasons, because they recognised their relationship with alcohol was becoming problematic, or simply because they felt better without it, they deserve your admiration.

If you find yourself resenting their sobriety, or feeling irritated when they don’t want to stay at a party, that’s worth examining. The problem isn’t them.

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Christmas is still Christmas without your partner matching you alcoholic drink for alcoholic drink. In fact, it might be better.

The photo released by the Prince and Princess of Wales for their Christmas card is, on the surface, a simple family portrait.

Yet for anyone who has followed Kate over the past two years, this image represents something far significant. When she announced her cancer diagnosis in early 2024, the nation held its breath. When she later revealed she was in remission, there was collective relief.

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But what has impressed me most as a doctor is how she has handled the aftermath. She appears to understand that healing happens in its own time. Her gradual return to public life and her focus on family speak to a wisdom that eludes many after illness.

Recovery is learning to trust your body again, finding a new kind of normal. We would all do well to remember it.

Dr Max prescribes…Wintering by Katherine May

Katherine May’s memoir is about learning to embrace life’s fallow periods, when we need to retreat and restore rather than push through. May writes beautifully about rest, resilience and accepting that we cannot always be at full capacity. After the year many of us have had, her gentle wisdom feels especially relevant. A reassuring companion for the quiet days between Christmas and New Year.