The 7 Things So Many Guys Wear That Secretly Repulse Women. You Think You Look Sexy… But Heres The Brutal Truth JANA HOCKING

My best male friend turned up to the bar for our monthly catch-up and exclaimed, ‘Are you wearing fake eyelashes?’

I was. Did he need to let the whole bar know?

A month earlier, my adult brothers called me out at a family gathering for sporting an admittedly Trump-like orange tan.

And the outcry from guys after I dared wear a shirt and tie to a recording of my radio show was enough to make me consider setting fire to my entire wardrobe.

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But after a man wrote for the Daily Mail ‘The 11 things you’re wearing that repulse men,’ I’d finally had enough.

Pull up a chair, fellas. The girls have a few notes, too.

For decades we’ve politely smiled while you turned up to dates wearing outfits that looked like they were assembled in the dark. We’ve nodded along as you’ve declared your decade-old flip flops were ‘going out’ shoes. We’ve pretended not to notice when your jeans were so tight they seemed to have been painted on.

But now that the floodgates have now been flung open by Sir Quarter-Zip, allow me to return the favor.

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Here are the seven things men wear that repulse women:

Ill-fitting ties

Let’s talk length. The rule is simple. The tip should meet the belt. It should not be flirting with the zipper. It should not be grazing the groin like it’s attempting to infiltrate the crotch.

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When a man’s tie dangles like wet linguine, every woman in the room silently questions his life choices.

And why do men turn up to weddings looking like they’re borrowed their friend’s tie from senior prom?

I’ve seen it all – too long, too short; too hideous.

Lads, you don’t actually have to invest much in your wardrobe. You can repeat outfits for years, while women are forced to online shop for every new Instagram pic.

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At the very least, invest in a decent tie. Tom Ford, Prada, Dior, Saint Laurent are all brands that sell a tie for under $500 and they instantly make you look fancy.

We don’t even care if you ‘accidentally’ put it on backwards and flash the label. Honest mistake. Cute even.

Women can’t buy a single shoe (let alone a pair) from those brands for under $1,000. So, make the most of the sexist pricing system.

Starve skinny jeans

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Somewhere around 2015, men decided circulation was optional.

When your jeans are so tight that we can map the contents of your pockets, it’s not giving ‘rock star’ vibes. It’s reads ‘midlife crisis in a changing room.’

Skintight denim also draws attention to a harsh truth – most of you don’t have a bum. Sorry, but many of you go straight from back to legs.

Even worse, if you do have a juicy one and it looks like it’s trying to break free. One deep squat and we’re seeing crack than Balti . Not good.

If you can’t sit without wincing, trust me, so are we.

Baggy gym shorts

Unless you are on your way to an actual game, please stop wearing your high school PE shorts to brunch.

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Women don’t find the ‘I rolled out of bed and grabbed whatever was on the floor’ aesthetic charming.

I always assume that they’re sweaty, which doesn’t exactly make me want to rip them off you.

Men get cranky at girls for wearing track suits in public, but you’re not dealing with hormonal bloating. Leave the shorts at home or keep them on the court.

They are pajamas pretending to be fashion and the only thing they score is the ick.

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Flip flops… and worse: Crocs!

I’m from Australia where men’s thongs (aka flip flops) are considered a personality trait. But then the horrific Crocs came into play. Both are made from rubber. Both horrific.

Women can forgive many sins, but not the sound of flip flops slapping pavement like a wet salmon being dragged to shore.

And the toes! The little piggies always tell a story that I don’t want to hear. Men, for the love of everything that is holy, invest in a nail clipper and – dare I say it – get a pedicure.

If you haven’t scrubbed your feet since last summer, hide them from public view.

Side note: If you embellish your Cros, it’s a direct call to the fashion police and straight to jail. You’re not ten years old.

Flashy Jewelry

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Chunky gold chains. Giant rings. ‘Spiritual’ bracelets you bought on a boy’s trip to Thailand.

This is jewelry with an ego and it does absolutely nothing for us.

Unless you are a rapper, a pirate or actively starring in Love Island, tone it down.

Subtle is sexy. A full Mr T starter pack is not.

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Now, women’s jewelry – wrapped and presented on a date or any other occasion – is acceptable and encouraged.

Cargo shorts and graphic tees

This is the uniform of a man who has given up.

You’re not Jack Black nor Jeff Probst, but even if you were, it’s not an excuse.

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Every straight woman on Earth has been on a date with a man wearing cargo shorts which can legally be classified as camping equipment.

But pair that with a T-shirt screaming ‘Legend!’ or ‘Beer Loading’ and we’re texting our friends for an escape plan.

Lack of imagination in the outfit department = lack of imagination in the bedroom. I’m yet to be proven wrong.

The too-small polo

I appreciate that your love for the gym knows no bounds, but a strong chest should not be packed into an itsy-bitsy shirt.

For some reason you all believe it makes you look jacked. If your sleeves are cutting off your biceps like a tourniquet and your top button looks ready to file a workers’ compensation claim, size up.

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And, please, stop showing cleavage. Your shirts should be buttoned to a respectable length. Leave the thirst trapping to us.

In conclusion, with love…

Before any man starts typing a furious comment, breathe. We like you. Truly. Fashion is fun, but attraction is subjective.

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If you take anything from this list, let it be this: women are not nearly as harsh on men as men think they are. But now that you’ve had your say on ballet flats and comfy coats, the girls get a turn too.

Consider this a gentle nudge. A stylish little clue, if you will. And if you ever want personalized fashion advice, my DMs are open. As long as you aren’t wearing an embroidered pigeon shirt. Don’t even get me started…