Surely you are familiar with two opposing models of behavior: some people flare up like a match over trifles, others maintain Olympic calm in the most tense situations. What lies behind these emotional poles?

The nature of emotional outbursts

People with explosive temperaments were often raised in families where such behavior was the norm. Psychologists note that external aggression usually hides deeply hidden anxiety and a constant state of hypervigilance, notes psychologist Robert Taibbi.

Such personalities:

• Tend to blame external circumstances for their problems

• Have increased sensitivity to uncertainty

• Often triggers the “fight” response instead of the “flight” or “freeze” response

• Characterized by perfectionism and a desire for total control

The phenomenon of emotional detachment

At the other end of the spectrum are people who are often called “insensitive.” The origins of this behavior may vary. Such people may have grown up in an emotionally cold environment where they showed neither conflict nor affection. Or they are children of hot-tempered parents who learned to suppress emotions – this was their survival strategy.

The Path to Emotional Balance

Between these extremes there is a golden mean – a state when emotions are expressed adequately to the situation. This can be achieved by taking responsibility for your feelings and reactions, recognizing the connection between thoughts and emotions, and developing the ability to rethink different situations. For example, instead of thinking, “That driver cut me off on purpose,” you might think, “Perhaps he’s just in a hurry.”

Practical steps to harmony

• For emotionally hot people: Learn to recognize the first signs of anger and use self-regulation techniques

• For the emotionally cold: Gradually overcome your fear of expressing your feelings.

Remember: emotions are not the enemy, but important signals about our needs. Ask yourself not only questions like “What do I believe?”, but also “What am I missing?”

Managing emotions is not suppression, but the art of finding a balance between spontaneous reactions and excessive control. This approach helps to free yourself from childhood fears and create a psychologically safe space for yourself and others.