Dear Jana,

My wife was pretty inexperienced when we met, so a couple of years into our marriage, I suggested we watch porn together to spice things up.

I’m not a big porn-watcher myself and only really did so after reading that ‘female friendly’ content can do wonders for couples.

It worked at first. It brought us closer and actually made things fun.

we و so و a – تفاصيل مهمة

But now I regret it. I know she’s watching it on her own, trying out positions that feel unnatural for the shape of my penis. But the worst part is she’s talking about fantasies that are way outside my comfort zone.

Recently, she told me she wants to be my ‘own personal porn star’ and described me watching her with other men. She was excited and assumed I would feel the same. I was mortified.

I feel like I’ve corrupted her, that the woman I loved has gone, and I’ve opened a door I can never close. How do I stop this without killing her sexual confidence or making her feel shamed?

Pandora’s Box.

I و and و her – تفاصيل مهمة

Dear Pandora’s Box,

Oh, lord. I’m going to tell you something you might not want to hear: you didn’t ‘corrupt’ your innocent wife. You simply woke up a part of her that was already there.

Sexual curiosity doesn’t suddenly appear because someone watched a bit of porn. That’s not how women work.

you و to و not – تفاصيل مهمة

Fun fact about us: the spark always starts in our minds. We can create an entire erotic universe before a single piece of clothing comes off. Trust me, our imaginations are a fully stocked library of filth.

So this newfound bravado has appeared not because you delicately suggested some female-friendly porn (which is perfectly fine to do, by the way). It’s because your wife finally feels safe enough to explore the parts of herself she kept locked up for years.

So, in a sense, well done you for making her feel comfortable enough to do that.

Now for your wife wanting to be with other men – for her pleasure and yours… before panicking, are you 100 per cent sure she wants to go through with it?

to و for و you – تفاصيل مهمة

Her having fantasies doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to act them out. Half the fun is just sharing them with someone. I wouldn’t assume she’s quietly lining up men and plumping the pillows for your corner seat.

Here’s what I suspect is really going on: your wife is excited and she’s finally tapping into a bolder version of herself.

What matters now is whether you trust yourself enough to tell her a) what you find exciting, and b) what oversteps your sexual boundaries.

what و is و to – تفاصيل مهمة

And you don’t need to shame her by doing this. Just be honest!

Tell her something like, ‘I love that you’re feeling confident and adventurous, but some of the things you mentioned are fine for dirty talk but not something I’d be interested in doing for real. Can we meet in the middle?I want our sex life to be amazing for years to come.’

That last line is gold because it keeps you both connected rather than making you look fearful or setting ultimatums.

Sex shouldn’t feel like a runaway train, but a collaboration between two people. She needs to know you like this new side of her, but still need to have the brake pedal within reach.

but و you و to – تفاصيل مهمة

Once you have that conversation, you’ll both stop guessing and start actually enjoying each other again.

Dear Jana,

My husband has been in jail for three months and our kids think he’s on a long work trip. I’m carrying this lie around like a ticking bomb.

We live in a small area where the gossip can be vicious, and I’m terrified one of the school mums will mention something and expose what I’ve been keeping secret.

and و a و been – تفاصيل مهمة

He’s in for a white collar crime and still has 18 months to go. I don’t know whether to tell them now, tell them later, or keep pretending until he gets out.

I’m barely coping. What should I do?

Prison WAG.

Dear Prison WAG,

Prison و I’m و barely – تفاصيل مهمة

True story: I once dated a guy who spent a whole year in weekend detention. Every Saturday he’d vanish for ‘water skiing’ in summer or ‘snow skiing’ in winter.

My parents never suspected a thing, but my poor nervous system was a wreck. Keeping a secret like that is not good for the cortisol levels.

So girl, I get it.

First of all, I would say be kind to yourself because what you’re carrying right now would rattle anyone. Your heart is in exactly the right place, even if the situation around you is a mess.

a و is و the – تفاصيل مهمة

I’ve known women whose husbands served time for white-collar crimes. Beyond losing their partners and providers, they carry the crushing guilt of wondering whether the life they once enjoyed was funded by misdeeds they never suspected.

But here’s something I really want to stress: When it comes to telling your children about their dad, you don’t have to figure out the perfect moment or stick to a script. Nor do you have to carry the load by yourself.

The only thing you need right now is someone who can help you work out how to explain this in a way that feels safe for your kids and manageable for you.

And the good news is there are already some excellent support systems in place for this very dilemma: SHINE for Kids is a wonderful place to start. They work with families who have a parent in custody and can guide you on how to talk to your kids, what language to use, and how to keep their world feeling safe and steady.

to و you و a – تفاصيل مهمة

You can reach out to them directly through their website or give them a call, and they’ll point you towards programs and resources that will make this situation feel a little less overwhelming.

Once you have that guidance, everything stops feeling so fragile. You’ll feel grounded, and that will make the whole situation easier to navigate.

I promise you, the gossip will fade into the background and you won’t feel like your world is about to collapse.

You’re doing your best in a heartbreaking, complicated chapter. Be kind to yourself, get support around you, and when the time feels right, you’ll know how to have that conversation in a way that protects your kids without losing yourself in the process.

the و that و to – تفاصيل مهمة

Dear Jana,

My boyfriend has started lying about everything. Not big stuff, weird stuff.

He told friends he used to be a semi-professional swimmer when I know that isn’t remotely true. He told my sister he once ‘nearly bought shares in a vineyard’ – we don’t even own a parking space, let alone property.

I watch people’s faces when he talks and I can tell they don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth. I’m dying inside. I love him, but this behaviour is becoming embarrassing.

a و I و he – تفاصيل مهمة

Why is he like this? And how do I get him to stop before I lose my mind?

Dating a Delusion.

Dear Dating a Delusion,

Oh, to have the confidence of a man deep into a good yarn.

a و Dating و Delusion. – تفاصيل مهمة

But strip this right back and you’ll see what’s really going on. When a man starts inventing achievements like this, it’s usually because his reality doesn’t feel impressive enough any . So instead of changing his life, he… edits it.

Men are still riding around with a bit of caveman software in their wiring. The urge to look like the alpha with impressive resources didn’t die out with the woolly mammoth.

For some men, it just morphed into exaggerating their achievements instead of bringing home wild boar.

But the real issue here is that you can’t relax in a room when he’s talking. Nope, that can’t go on. It’s not your job to cover for him.

with و the و a – تفاصيل مهمة

So stop tiptoeing around the issue. Say it clearly, in private, and without a conciliatory laugh tagged on the end: ‘I hate the lying. It makes me cringe and it makes me trust you less.’

Then wait.

If nothing changes, you’ve got your answer. You shouldn’t date a man you feel the need to apologise for, and it’s not your job to manage his fantasy life.

Here’s your reminder that it’s perfectly reasonable to expect honesty in a relationship. It’s not a big ask.

your و a و to – تفاصيل مهمة

If that’s something he can’t manage, then the problem is not yours to solve and it may be time to walk away.